I turned on the heat lamp and it started buzzing like a nuclear alarm.  Scared the living shit out of me.  I'm talking to Kory on AIM and I was talking to Jon on the phone until Greg came out into the computer room and fell asleep so I had to be quiet.  Mabye it was his way of subliminally telling me to be quiet.  I figured out how to play Guild Wars by downloading the client off the webiste, then entering my password and questing away.  Listening to Keith and the Girl makes me happy.  YES!  Being in Seattle is what is interesting right now.  Seeing Kristi and Greg and trying to dodge work on the farm, it's way fun.  We go to movies, and sit around.  Oh my god Keith and the Girl is so funny.  Kory and I have been talking about girls alll night.  Jon is going back to Oklahoma and is going to fuck Anna, and if she reads this I don't care because she want's to do it too. 

UPDATE LATER

    I'm pretty sick and it sucks.  I woke up today and I couldn't breathe out of my nose.  When I'm sick I sort of feel a little helpless and so to counter that, today I did something of relevance.  I went to the movies.  I go there a lot.  Mabye it's because I work there.  Mabye it's because its free.  Probably a combination of both.  My life hasn't been very mesmerizing as of late.  I feel trapped under the weight of authority lately.  Mabye its killing the troops morale.  My bum hurts a lot lately from sitting on it so much.  I bought six movies this past week.  One of them 'Broken Flowers' really got me thinking.  The past has happened, and you can't tell the future, so the best you can do is live in the present.  I think people are unhappy for two reasons.  They can't get over the past, or they are frustrated that they can't tell their future.  If you just do your best in 'the now' you have no reason to be unhappy for more than a fleeting moment. 
    Although I would have a hard time admitting it even to myself, I think I'm falling for Kaleigh.  Mabye the internal struggle of mind over heart is whats keeping me so melancholy.  This, again, is why I feel so sick of being young.  Everything you do is 'typical' and you can't do anything without scrutiny.  I just want so badly to say the words, but I'd secretly feel like a fool.  Even talking about makes me feel as if I'm stereotyping myself.  What is hard to come to terms with is the fact that I truly believe in doing things without acknowleding other people's so called 'opinions' but by admitting my true feelings and abondoning all spectacle, would be typical.  I could write a whole book on how trapped I feel (thats a lie I couldn't) but it would be worthless and thrown away as trash. Damnitt.
    I'm sick.  It sucks.  My life is boring.  I feel trapped.  Live in the moment.  Admit my truth.

Kyle
1 July 2006